ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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