No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
