Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
