He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
