She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
