Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize