We named our party play list daddy issues
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
