Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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