so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
