I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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