I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
