I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
