So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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