Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
