I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sorry about my life...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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