Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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