Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
