Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize