Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
