So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
