I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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