I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
