Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
