margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I want you more than these girls want KFC
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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