Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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