Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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