Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
