If that was your dad, he is hot
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
