Whod you bang
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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