Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
