Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
