he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
