I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize