I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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