ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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