someone owes me an orgasm
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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