I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
