I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
