Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
