My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize