"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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