i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
