I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
