i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
