I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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