At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
