you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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