she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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