There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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