just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
