these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
