Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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