Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
