just tell him i said nine months
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
