I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
