His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
