I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
