i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
