New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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