what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
