mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
