toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
