You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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