As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize