FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
