can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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