Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
