I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
