don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize