she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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